Which Gone Girl Character Are You? (According to Buzzfeed)

After selecting my favorite color, drink of choice, pet, and several other seemingly random questions, Buzzfeed has somehow concluded that of the characters in Gone Girl, I am Amy Dunne. How accurate the process in which I received this result is at best questionable. Though I understand the basic logic behind the calculation, I still can't convince myself to believe it. Me? Amy? I mean, yes, I would consider myself "smart" perhaps even "clever". I am a bit of an introvert, I have high expectations, I am definitely a planner, and my suspicions never cease. However being classified as Amy seems a bit drastic. Self obsessed, suicidal, sociopathic, psychotic, bipolar, manipulative, I can safely say I am not. So, my conclusion in regards to the conclusion of this quiz is that the results are all based on one question, the pet question. Each question had six options, meaning that there are probably six possible characters to get. My guess of the six would be Amy, Nick, Go, Tanner, Desi, and Noelle. Nick is the puppy, lost and confused but not always innocent. Go is the goldfish, caught in the fish tank of media surrounding her brother's fame, Tanner is the snake, conniving and sneaky, whispering what everyone wants to hear, Noelle is the bunny, going wherever Amy leads her but completely innocent in her disappearance, and Amy of course, is the cat. An introvert craving affection, but always calculating and scheming. I picked the cat, meaning that for anyone who is also independent and on guard, or just really like cats, you too are Amy Dunne.

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT: PART 2 EDITION

Effects of Gone Girl on the Human Brain 

               PART 1                                                                                                      PART 2 

Surprise, surprise. Amy is a psycho. She is a lying, scheming, evil genius sociopath. Prior to this knowledge, you probably thought you had this book all figured out. You most definitely had your theoretical suspect, and for the vast majority of you it was probably Nick. I bet you thought "oh poor Amy" and "she seems like such a sweet girl, annoying, yes, but sweet!" Well guess what? These thoughts are WRONG. The phrase "poor Amy" should be illegal, and using the word "sweet" to describe her is nothing but comical. After reading the first chapter of Part 2, that was it for me. My brain could not handle state of shock that Gillian Flynn managed to put me in. It exploded. "Surprised" is an understatement. This ripped everything apart that I thought I knew, because I realized I really didn't know anything at all. The simultaneous awe and horror I experienced can be compared to that of the moment I realized that Blue from "Blue's Clues" was a girl. My life fell apart, and nothing was ever the same. Then, all too soon, the next bomb dropped: "diary Amy" was a fake. My life was in ruins and my brain had disintegrated to ash. It was just too much. The pure genius and unexpectedness of it unhinged my sanity completely, so I did the only thing I knew how to in such a situation: I kept reading. 

"Blank Space" by Taylor Swift: Innocent Satire or "Gone Girl" Gone Pop Song?

T-Swift's new song and even newer music video, "Blank Space" has been sweeping the charts, and not just because it's another one of her (infamous?) break-up songs. No, "Blank Space" has hit number 13 this week on Billboard's Top 100 list, because it has somehow managed to appeal to the ever-expanding noir fan base. It appears that music has now found a way to imitate the movie industry, where dark, romantically twisted, sociopathic, mystery thrillers are the latest fad. Taylor Swift has turned this recurrent theme into a song, and is blazing the trail for a new genre of music: Pop Noir.

The real question, however, is whether or not this was intentional. Was it really just an innocent mockery of the outside perceptions of Taylor Swift? Was it a harsh joke about women today? Or was it an (extremely accurate) emulation of Gone Girl? In other words, was it a satire of today's society, or Gone Girl with a catchy tune?

"You look like my next mistake" 

"Love's a game, wanna play?" 

"Ain't it funny, rumors fly, And I know you heard about me" (definite "Amazing Amy" reference) 

The boys are cheaters!!!!!

"Stolen kisses, pretty lies" 

"Be that girl for a month, Wait the worst is yet to come, oh no" (Cool Girl to Crazy reference) 

"'Oh my God, who is she?'" (Andie!!) 

"Screaming, crying, perfect storms, I can make all the tables turn" (by making it look like you murdered me) 

"Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane" (Desi Collings perhaps?!) 

To the left is Amy's "you'll pay for this in a horrible, extreme, and well-planned way because (surprise!) I'm crazy" face

To the right is Taylor Swift's crazy face, and then she murders him. 

"Boys only want love if it's torture, Don't say I didn't, say I didn't warn ya" 

"'Cause, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream" 

DEFINITELY Gone Girl with a tune. 

But I've got a blank space baby.....

GONE GIRL Gone Noir?

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn is indeed a unique and complex blend of Suburban, Domestic, and Chic Noir. The evidence is overwhelming.

CLUE 1

Suburban Noirs contain fictional towns that seem very safe and welcoming to the outside world, icy relationships and secrets lay just within the town limits.

This perfectly describes the small town of Carthage, Missouri in Gone Girl, which at first glance appears to be the average run-down midwestern town, but actually holds an array of deadly secrets.

CLUE 2

Domestic Noirs focus on the corruption in domestic relationships from the very second they were forged. Marriage is labeled as the place of cultivation for deception and darkness close to home.

From the very start of the relationship, as well as the start of the book, something is off about the relationship between Amy and Nick. The central issues of the story seem to revolve around their marital disputes, which is also what paints Nick as a prime suspect for Amy's disappearance.

CLUE 3

Chic Noirs are pretty much more feminist version of a noir. Aimed towards female readers, they strive to nitpick the flaws of the "deranged" husband or boyfriend, therefore always labeling the male character as the bad guy.

I would consider Gone Girl to be half Chic Noir because of the alternating perspectives between Nick and Amy. During Amy's narration, Nick is often depicted as the bad guy, and many of his flaws are exploited and condemned, which is something that would not have happened were Nick to be the only narrator.

Alright detectives, you have the clues. It is now up to you to solve the mystery of the noir. Best of luck.